# 1 Thing I Have Learned Each Decade: Decade # 4—God Is Gracious

            During my first two decades, life was relatively easy. The third decade of my life, I discovered that life was hard. This was a good lesson for me, because it prepared me to appreciate what I learned in the fourth decade of my life – God is gracious.

            I discovered God’s grace in college. I internalized the biblical message that I was saved by grace. However, I was in my 30s before I truly began to appreciate God's gracious activity in my life and each blessing He gave me.

            One place this was exemplified was in my profession. The first five years of the decade, I lived in Argentina doing foreign mission work. I loved those years. Until my children were born, those were the greatest years of my life.

            In 1995, I was given the privilege to preach at a church in Brownsville, Texas. Four years later, I was blessed to begin preaching in Winters, Texas, near Abilene and Abilene Christian University.

            I thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated both jobs. The two jobs were diverse in some ways. Each offered its own challenges. Moreover, I had many things to learn. Nevertheless, I appreciated getting to participate with God in His mission. Equally important, I appreciated God allowing me to follow the passions of my heart and aligning those passions with my profession.

            Having worked in real estate and roofed houses during the decade of my twenties, I was able to fully embrace the chance to do something I truly loved to do. I have not worked since I quit roofing in 1989.

            Let me elaborate: I cannot stress what a blessing it was (and is) to feel like I was doing what I was created to do; this sense allowed me to enjoy my work. When a person enjoys his work, it is not a job.

            The second major area in which God reinforced His graciousness was in the area of family. Judy’s and my natural-born daughters entered into this world during this decade.

            Fatherhood presented ENORMOUS challenges. I learned this immediately after Haleigh’s birth.

            Haleigh was born a little prematurely and did not eat enough in the first few months of her life. We had to wake her up literally every two hours—twelve times every 24-hour-period—to feed her.

            The physical and emotional strain was enormous. I can remember walking the streets of Argentina searching for something Haleigh’s pediatrician recommended and literally telling God, “I don’t know if I can do this (be a father.)”

            We somehow made it through that crisis, as well as the crisis our second daughter, Abby, endured when she ceased breathing immediately after birth and was placed in Neonatal Intensive Care Unit for two weeks.

            From a selfish perspective, it seemed hard taking a day off each week with two little girls whose idea of fun was to play dolls, play dress up, and play CANDYLAND. I hate CANDYLAND, but I played it over and over with them.

            Personal pleasure for parents, of course, is irrelevant; however, I was later blessed to enjoy the fruit of those relationships, which was formed during those hours on the floor with dolls and CANDYLAND game boards. It wasn’t long before those girls grew out of those life phases and chose interests that corresponded with mine.

            Again, not that it is a right, but relatively early in my parenting career, I received the blessing of not only raising my kids but enjoying them as well.

            Lastly, I’ll mention that I was thirty when Judy and I entered the second year of our marriage. By then we were able to cultivate some good foundations for a healthy marriage.

            I enjoyed being married to Judy-so much so-I did not feel a deep yearning to have children. We were married almost 5 years before we had Haleigh. I wanted to have children because I felt privileged to participate in God’s work and mission in the world, not because I wanted to bring a third party into our household to compensate for something that was missing in our marriage.

            It was in that decade, before we had children, that Judy became my best friend. She remains so to this day.

            It was during that time that I really enjoyed being in her company. Those days, I would rather be at home with her than anywhere else. Later, I would rather be home with Judy and my kids than anywhere else. This feeling continue to this day.

            Looking back, I realize that during my thirties, God cultivated an understanding within me of how blessed I am. I remain blessed.

            This is God's gracious activity in my life. I don't know how long it will last. I am not entitled to these blessings, but I have learned to squeeze every bit of enjoyment out of them while I can.

            My children are not my toys. They have begun leaving home, one by one. This is as it should be.

            I would love to die at exactly the same time Judy does. It probably will not happen that way. Yet I remain forever grateful for whatever time we have left together.

            We humans deserve spiritual separation from God. Anything we get above that is a gift.

            Salvation comes by God’s grace. Other events that bring joy come by the grace of God as well.

Five Things I Think I Think (with a nod to Peter King for this idea)

1. Last week I finished LOOKING FOR ANNE OF GREEN GABLES THE STORY OF L. M. MONTGOMERY AND HER LITERARY CLASSIC. The author is Irene Gammel, a professor of English at Ryerson University in Toronto.

            Drawing extensively from Montgomery’s diaries and journals, Gammel provides a detailed backdrop of Montgomery's inspiration for Anne. While Gammel’s work is not a true biography, she uses her rich resource material to reveal a multi-layered depiction of Montgomery's life.

            While her life might be described as a wonderful life, it was a very sad life also. Montgomery's mother died when she was young; raised by her grandmother, their relationship in adulthood was extremely strained. Both experienced an even worse relationship with Montgomery’s uncle, who attempted to remove Montgomery and grandmother from the family homestead—where Maud cared for her grandmother during the matriarch’s final years.

            Like most writers, Lucy Maud Montgomery was a complicated human being. Montgomery married a Presbyterian minister, Ewan Macdonald, while in her late thirties. She bore him three sons, one being stillborn.

            This I knew.

            What I did not know was that Ewan suffered a nervous breakdown, and was continually plagued by deep depression until his death. Moreover, she suffered from depression as well. Instead of each partner being available to pick the other up, Maud and her husband each exasperated the condition of the other.

            Most biographies and encyclopedic works note that Montgomery died of heart disease in 1942 at the age of 67. Ewan died one year later.

            (Not found in the book, but related information to Montgomery’s depression, is an article written by Montgomery’s granddaughter, Kate Macdonald Butler, published in the Toronto newspaper THE GLOBE AND MAIL, in 2008. She claimed that instead of dying of heart disease, Montgomery took her on life through a drug overdose. Here is a link to that article: http://v1.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20080919.wmhmontgomery0920/BNStory/mentalhealth/

            A biographer argues that Montgomery did not kill herself: http://v1.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20080924.wmontgomery24/BNStory/mentalhealth/

            Whether or not Montgomery took her own life, the consensus among scholars is that psychologically, she was in a bad way at the time of her death.)

            ANNE OF GREEN GABLES did not arrive solely from Montgomery’s inspiration. It was also the product of many years of reading, observing, and writing—the writing being only moderately successful… until Anne.

            Ultimately, I believe Gammel’s book is worth reading for anyone who is a fan of that redheaded girl from Prince Edward Island.

2. The more I listen to Washington talk about the debt crisis, the more I think Aristotle was right—virtue lies between two extremes. There are probably exceptions, but I think Aristotle affirmed the rule.

3. Four episodes to go in the first year of “24.” Haleigh has gone to DRY BONES this week in Denver, so I’ve got to wait until she gets back. I’ve got to concede—

Jack Bauer must have experienced the most stressful twenty-four hour period of humankind in a long time. I would not trade places with him.

4. The Texas Rangers beat the trading deadline with some good trades. I like it that they received Koji Uehara and Mike Adams—good pitchers for the seventh and eighth innings. I also like their chances in the playoffs—assuming they get there.

5. Who is going to beat the Eagles in the East? They made great moves last week, especially signing Vince Young to back up Michael Vick (similar qb styles), Nnamdi Asomugha and Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie. Andy Reid is a very good analyst of player personnel.

        

            

What Church Should Look Like-- A Community for Finding Accountability

            I knew a guy who was involved in a fiery automobile accident many years ago. An ambulance rushed him from the interstate to the nearest hospital. An emergency room diagnosis determined that he needed to be airlifted to another hospital, which specialized in treating burn victims.

            It was at the specialty hospital the guy experienced the greatest trauma of his life—even greater than the crash itself. During the crash, the poor fellow at least went into shock. At the burn unit of the specialized hospital, he did not enjoy this luxury.

            The worst part was submitting to the scrubbing. Portions of damaged flesh, scar tissue, and even good skin were brushed away—an excruciating process that provoked him to wishes of death.

            He screamed appeals to hospital personnel to stop. They never listened. To do so was to risk was to risk infection and even death, whereby the hospital would have been derelict of duty.

            Last I heard, my acquaintance was healthy, happy, and pain free. He is grateful the hospital did not give him what he wanted, and equally grateful they gave him what was needed.

            Too many churches today are the equivalent of negligent hospitals. They welcome people burned by sin, but rather than offer the treatment the victims need for healthy spiritual lives, the spiritual health care ceases at the first cry of pain.

            While the intentions are good, they produce corrosive results. Too many Christians are becoming spiritually infected. Sometimes, this lack of spiritual care leads to spiritual death.

            Transformation into the image of Christ is a terribly difficult process. Discipleship requires accountability.

            Accountability is not a popular word these days. Some of this is understandable. Through the centuries, too many churches have abused this calling. Unfortunately, we delude ourselves if we drift too far to the opposite end of the spectrum.

            Neglect, no matter how noble the intention, is still neglect.

            A significant portion of Paul’s writing reflects healthy spiritual confrontation. We must confront.

            A significant portion of Paul’s writing reflects the importance of church discipline. This is the most difficult part of offering spiritual rehab; yet, when needed, it is essential.

            Yes, Paul channels Jesus’ belief that people are free to choose Christ or reject him. Nonetheless, it is not the responsibility of the church to subsidize the lifestyles of people who choose to reject spiritual care and live outside the boundaries of God’s call for holiness.

            Holiness leads to healing.

            It is never a good thing if the local chapter of Alcoholics Anonymous models accountability more effectively than the local church. Speaking of AA, maybe we can learn a thing or two from them.

Five Things I Think I Think (with a nod to Peter King for this idea)

1. How many times have we seen this: a seemingly stronger team unable to put a “weaker” team away. The weaker team plugs away, plugs away, plugs away… and then they win. That is what we saw yesterday when Japan defeated the U. S. in the Women’s World Cup. I am happy for Japan, and I congratulate the U. S. women. They have had a good tournament.

2. Amazingly the Texas Rangers had three shutouts in a row last week, and as of today have one eleven in a row. This is still a streaky team; they have a long way to go.

3. I finished Dick Van Dyke’s new book My Lucky Life In and Out of Show Business: A Memoir. It’s a fast read, more fun than enlightening. However, he does provide some interesting details of his battle with alcoholism and his decision to ultimately leave his wife.

            I read with sadness, this former elder in the Presbyterian Church, as he described his relationship with his live-in girlfriend of over thirty years. I write this without irony. (Last week’s blog was on “living together.”)

            I am a huge fan of the DICK VAN DYKE SHOW. I consider it the greatest TV comedy of all time—maybe TV’s greatest show. Nevertheless, Dick Van Dyke is a man of flesh and blood. Sometimes, the choices of those we appreciate disappoint us.

4. Everybody is blaming the Congress, the President, or both for our debt crisis. This is not a “they” problem. This is an “us” problem. I have experienced this before in another country. Unless we change our spiritual outlook and, consequently, our values and habits, things will become much, much worse.

5. Judy, Haleigh, Abby, and I are on hour 18 of Season 1 of “24” on NETFLIX. Abby left yesterday for two weeks at Camp Deer Run. Big question: can Haleigh wait until Abby gets back?

# 1 Thing I Have Learned Each Decade: Decade # 3—Life is Hard.

            My wife is a fun woman. She has a great sense of humor. She can take it, and she can dish it out.

            Judy never tires of tweaking me about my "spending money" budget of my senior year in college. Actually, it was not the fact that I had a budget that caused her to tease me. It was the fact that my dad gave me $300 a month spending money that makes her laugh.

            She claims she did not received $300 in all of her years in college. Incidentally, today that $300 monthly stipend would be worth $672—a month.

            My counter argument was that $300 accounted for gasoline, eating out, books, and very important—golf. Hey, at least I had a budget!

            I will concede this: I had a good life. Materially, I never wanted for anything.

            All of that changed three months after I graduated from college. I was in the deep bush country of Papua New Guinea when some missionaries from Mt. Hagen traveled four and half hours by jeep, into the bush country, to find me. My mom had called, my dad had undergone an emergency stomach operation—and they sewed him back up. Cancer had eaten away most of his stomach. It was only a matter of time.

            I flew home, helped my dad die (hospice was unknown in my part of the country—then.) After that, I faced the challenge of managing my dad’s estate, of which he had legally put me in charge.

            I was very fortunate for two reasons. One, my dad, a businessman, had been very organized. Two, he had surrounded himself with good, decent, and honest people.

            Daddy’s lawyer was magnificent, daddy’s administrator—his cousin—was on top of everything, and his former business associates were all very willing to help me.

            My business training was minimal. (Daddy had tried for years to prepare me for life, but, regarding finances, I had let his teaching go in one ear and out the other.)

            I was ripe for disaster. Any one of the people Daddy had around him could have deceived me and cost my mother greatly. Fortunately, all were trustworthy and models of integrity. I have never forgotten this.

            I spent a few months at home organizing the estate so it could support my mother as well as my sister, who was fifteen at the time. (Mom kept her teaching job a few more years and then retired.)

            Serving as the executor of my dad’s estate was actually the easy part. What came next during that decade was hard.

            I had decided before I graduated to go back to school to get a Master’s degree in Bible and Communication. I did not want to sponge off my mom, so I decided to support myself and put myself through graduate school. But what to do for a living?

            Shortly after my dad’s death, I was playing golf one day with a good friend from high school, Brian Lindsey, and he suggested that since I was spending a lot of time working with my daddy’s real estate business, why not get my real estate license? That seemed a good idea, so I spent the next few months working toward that goal.

            In January of 1984, I moved back to Abilene and went into the real estate business. I worked under the tutelage of Ray Scott and his associates. I had returned to ACU to get my Masters, but I think I received my real education from the real estate business.

            When I entered into real estate, interest rates were finally dropping below 15 percent. That was good news!  A few years before, they had reached up to 18 ½ percent.

            Times were tough. Abilene was in a depression. And people of the world were not beating a path to the door of a 23-year-old real estate associate.

            To help my tuition costs and to give myself some experience, I taught one speech class a semester at ACU. Furthermore, I was very active in the campus ministry of my church, since we did not have a supported campus minister.

            Consequently, I was spending forty hours a week in real estate (to pay my bills), about ten to twenty hours a week in ministry with my church, about ten hours a week teaching (to pay for part of my tuition), and about ten hours a week taking two courses a semester. I would literally go to bed at 11:00 pm and set my alarm for 3:00 am to get up and start my day. As you might guess, this was an exhausting schedule.

            I worked in real estate for four years. I would not trade those years for anything. They paid my bills and financed the majority of my first Master’s degree. However, I would never want to repeat those years.

            In late 1987, I decided that if I was ever going to do mission work in a foreign country, I had to begin to find a team and raise support.

            To achieve this goal, I needed flexibility with my schedule. Real estate prevented this. Therefore, I made the decision to leave real estate at the end of 1987.

            I called several churches asking for support. Every one of them said, “No.” I will never forget that after this, Rick Atchley, Brad Small, Robert Oglesby and I hatched a plan to raise my support from the congregation I attended. They were on staff at my church then, and our plan was for me to ask members in our church to offer me individual support with offerings of $10 month. (That church was facing hard times because of the West Texas depression, and being funded through the church’s budget was out of the question.) The thought was I would go on staff with this support, as well as begin trying to put together a team to do foreign mission work in South America.

            We took our idea to the elders, and they turned it down. I will never forget one of the elders sitting with me on the floor outside the elders’ conference room after everyone had gone home. He was trying to cushion the blow for me.

            I was totally confused. I was trying to honor God with my life, and nothing seemed to work. I could not get from point A to point B. Finally, I began to cry like a baby. I mean, I sobbed. That poor elder, he probably thought I was having a breakdown. He gently patted me on the back and did his best to comfort me.

            In retrospect, I see the wisdom of the elders’ decision. It ended up being a blessing for me. However, I will never forget the generosity of spirit and true friendship that Rick, Robert, and Brad showed toward me.

            God honored my desire for mission work shortly thereafter by providing me with a team to go to Argentina. He also blessed me by allowing me to begin courting my future spouse. (I don’t remember when I delivered the news of my past—my dad had given me $300 a month spending money.) What next?

            In December of 1987, Brad and Allison Small had me over for supper. They said they believed God had called me to do mission work and committed $50 a month support—to begin immediately. With that pledge, I began to spend all of my time raising support.

            I called hundreds of churches. Some were kind enough to allow me to come speak and offer me a one-time contribution. That was enough for me to get by the next few months. Those were fun times. (I still remember every church that helped me, and I will always be grateful.)

            After a while, the money dried up. Our team was not to set to leave until the fall of 1989. Future support was beginning to fall into place, but that was still a year away.

            What to do?

            Enter roofing, phone book throwing, and mowing.

            Steve Ridgell (if you read last week’s blog, you know who he is) was starting up a business that incorporated these eclectic components: roofing houses damaged by West Texas hail, contracting with a company to distribute phone books to every business and residence in cities such as College Station, Midland, and Odessa, and mowing lawns in Abilene.

            The good thing about Steve was his flexibility. I could take off on a dime and visit a supporting church or travel to a mission forum. The bad news was, when I was to work, I was to work long hours—and hard.

            I remember having so many houses to roof, we would start at 6 AM and go until dark, taking an hour off for lunch. When the temperatures exceeded 100 degrees, our tennis shoes literally began melting. Every time we took a step, we could hear them squish. Moreover, I was not a gifted roofer. Consequently, I hated roofing.

            Throwing phone books was better, but it was still a job requiring long hours. We would travel to a city and stay all week. Many times, we worked from daylight until after dark. Often, we would work thirteen or fourteen hours.

            I didn’t mow that many lawns because of the roofing. Unfortunately when I did mow, I would break out into a rash because of my allergies. But you have got to make a living.

            In December 1988, Judy and I married. In May, our support kicked in and we were off to language school. It was in Mexico that Judy began thinking that life is hard, but I will let her tell that story.

            I know some of you have been through so much more than I have. Please do not hear me complaining.

            I also realize many of you learned this lesson your first decade, and there are some advantages to learning it early. It was the third decade for me—the decade of my twenties.

            Let me also make this clear. My challenge was not working hard or spending long hours working. I have always worked hard for long hours; and I still do. It was spending years working long hours doing things I had never intended doing—that was what was hard.

            I have faced challenges since, but nothing like those years. I learned that God sometimes allows us to face adversity to help us grow. Without adversity, we cannot grow.

            I am sure that if I live long enough, I will face much more difficult challenges. That is yet to be determined.

            I am so thankful I went through the decade of the eighties. Because of that decade, I can tell you this. Whenever I thought foreign mission work was tough, or things were tough in a U. S. church and someone wanted me fired, or I was staying up all night studying my Hebrew and Greek assignments for my doctorate, I also told myself, “It could be worse. I could be in real estate… or roofing!”

                       28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Rom. 8:28.)

            

Five Things I Think I Think (with a nod to Peter King for this idea)

1. I promise, this is what I wrote in my blog two weeks ago: “There is still work to do. I fear picking them [the Mavs] to beat Miami; Miami is hot, playing great ball, and has three legitimate, young superstars. However, I have a good feeling about this Mav team. I think they reverse the curse of 2006. I see them winning the championship in six games.”

2. After watching the Mavs win last night, can a Monday be any better?

3. Now, on to the Stanley Cup. I predict Vancouver defeats Boston in seven.

4. I’m halfway through the first season of 24. (I watch it while I’m on the treadmill.) My goal is to never watch another season again—too addicting.

5. Not every day you get a call from your wife saying that your daughter and her team’s physics’ project won second in the nation. I found out that eleven thousand schools were invited to participate in the nationwide competition funded by NUCOR, which I found out last week is a FORTUNE 300 company with headquarters in Charlotte, North Carolina.

            Not every school entered, but a lot did. Three teams from East Texas Christian Academy were invited to the finals in Charlotte, with one winning an honorable mention. That in itself was amazing.

            Haleigh, along with her teammates Loren Moore and Kaitlyn Gravois, won second place. Haleigh gives the lion’s (lioness?) share of the credit to Loren and Kaitlyn. In any case, I am sure this was a memory maker for all involved.

            Thanks again, Mrs. Chitty, for teaching the physics class at ETCA. I never saw this one coming. Great work.