Making Peace with Failure

Sunday is the Super Bowl. Each team’s offense will run anywhere from 60 to 80 plays. Most of them will end in failure. Yet, I suspect no player will quit during the game due to discouragement.

I love to play golf. Don’t play much anymore because my kids don’t like to play, but I love the game. It is addicting. Part of the pleasure is the challenge. It is hard to play golf consistently well. Even the greats misplay some shots every round. Still, one presses on.

I like to fish. Again, I don’t do much now, because the kids don’t like it. But I spent many hours in Junior High and High School casting lures trying to catch bass. On most of my casts, I failed. Yet, I continued casting. I enjoyed the thrill of the anticipation of a strike. I enjoyed the peace and quiet of the outdoors.

In sales, the rule of thumb in cold-calling is this. For every one hundred people with whom you have face-to-face contact, three will allow you to pitch your product, and one will actually buy your product. That is a 99 % failure rate. The good salespeople accept the odds and press on.

When it comes to the great expanse of life’s experiences, I have found most people’s expectations are too high. Most people anticipate feeling happiness—whatever that is—way more than they should.

Part of this is due to the illusion of posterity. Since we are blessed so much materially in the United States, our struggle to survive is less—at least compared to most of the world. Likewise, virtually all peoples throughout history faced greater struggles to live than we do. For the majority, the mantra truly has always been, “Give us this day our daily bread.”

The end result is we expect way too much out of life. These fantasies affect our views of marriage, children, work, and play. No wonder so many are unhappy.

Sadly, too many of us live life hypocritically. We cheer for the Cowboys even though they don’t score on every play. We keep on casting even if we have a bad day at the “fishin hole.” Yet, there are people who experience far fewer incidents of failure in marriage; however, these failures motivate them to bail.

What if we accepted the failures of life—and pressed on?

Jesus never offered us a reason to maintain unrealistic expectations. Indeed, he called us down from mountain top so that we might live life in the valleys.
A case in point is Mark Chapter Nine. Jesus has been transfigured in the presence of Peter, James and John. Peter is so excited he says in effect, “This is great! Let’s stay here.”

Jesus, however, calls them to return to the valley. The valley—the place with all of the problems. People are sick and diseased; the other disciples are powerless to perform the miracles needed. The disciples are experiencing one failure after another. Still, Jesus leads them to the valley.

When you are blessed with a mountaintop experience, enjoy it. But know Jesus will lead you back down to the valley. Stick with the challenge by staying with Jesus.

Five Things I Think I Think (with a nod to Peter King for this idea)

1. I saw PBS’ American Experience episode on Wyatt Earp. Having seen the movie WYATT EARP (I have not seen TOMBSTONE), and having been to the actual OK CORRAL, I found the program fascinating.

2. My dogs killed a tree rat today. That’s what I call squirrels now. With over fifteen trees in our yard, squirrels drive us nuts—no pun intended. They get in our attic, eat wires, and provide a general nuisance. For four years, they taunted our two Labs in the dog-run. I’ve seen those things run through many a time, pausing only to laugh at our dogs. Today, our dogs caught one. Maybe now we can have peace. Nah!

3. Good luck to the ETCA girls’ basketball team. They finished district play undefeated and host their first round play-off game Tuesday night. I’ve been scrimmaging with them to help prepare them for playoff competition. If they happen to face a 50-ish, 6 ‘ 3”, bald-headed man, I think they’ll be ready.

4. I’m toying with changing the day of the week that I write my weekly blog. I do a Monday-Friday blog I call TELL ME A STORY, where I share stories I’ve come across through the years. This blog is more of a processing of my thoughts and then posting them. However, according to Tim Archer— http://www.timothyarcher.com/kitchen/?p=2752&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TheKitchen+%28Halfbaked+Kitchen%29 --there is typically a sharp decline in readership on blogs from Friday through Sunday. So, for the 3235 of you who read my Friday blog—give or take 3234—I am mulling over a change.

5. Tonight I spend five hours serving first and second grade children at a lock-in. We will not finish until after midnight. What was I thinking?!


Have a great weekend!