What is the biggest sin in the church today? Probably a lot of people would say it is sexual sin. They may be thinking of pornography, homosexuality, premarital sexual activity, or other violations of God sexual covenant in marriage.
I have been preaching a series on sexuality. It is certainly a challenge living faithfully to God today, honoring him with our sexuality. However, I wonder if the greatest sin in the church today is an unfaithfulness to deal with conflict in a scriptural way.
There are probably many reasons for this. I would include the following:
1. Temperament. Genetically we are probably either overly aggressive or overly passive.
2. Sinful nature. Our temperament can encourage us to sin, but our sinful nature fuels the fire of encouragement. It is our sinful nature that blindly leads us into believing we are justified for all of our actions. It encourages us to be selfish. It encourages us to act on impulse. It encourages us to twist Scripture to fit our selfish desires.
3. Forgetting the basics. Scripture is pretty simple when it comes to conflict. Whether we perceive we are at fault, or we perceive that the other person is at fault, Scripture tells us it is our job to go to the other person. Jesus himself puts the onus on us. In Mt. 5:23-24 he says:
23So if you are about to place your gift on the altar and remember that someone is angry with you, 24leave your gift there in front of the altar. Make peace with that person, then come back and offer your gift to God. [CEV]
I would paraphrase that passage in this way, “If you are going to church and you find out someone is angry with you, postpone going, go and make peace with that person. Then go to church.” We typically do not do this. Instead, we place the burden on the person, who has the problem with us, and insist on waiting upon them to make the first move.
Now we have got a problem. We are distracted throughout worship thinking about the one who has something against us. If we are not careful, we dwell on our guilt, or we cultivate our justification for why we behave well and why the other person should not be upset with us.
Moreover, we tempt the other person to sin. Jesus has already given us the responsibility to confront the other person. The ball is placed in our court BY JESUS. The longer we hold the ball, the easier it will be for the person who has something against us to behave inappropriately.
In Matt. 18, Jesus offers counsel for those who have been hurt:
15-17"If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you've made a friend. If he won't listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won't listen, tell the church. If he won't listen to the church, you'll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God's forgiving love. [The Message]
Now, what is it we normally do? Do we not normally go to someone else about another who has hurt us?
Perhaps, we fear we cannot trust the person whom we believe has hurt us. Perhaps, we are afraid of the conflict. Regardless, we sin by refusing to follow Jesus’ words and instead replace them with our own opinion of how the offender treated us wrongly.
Typically, we bring someone else into the equation before it is appropriate. This breeds distrust, slander, and gossip.
In a couple of weeks, I will be preaching a follow-up sermon to yesterday’s on homosexuality. I want to deal with the question brought up to me: how does the Christian treat the homosexual? We are always ready to turn to Romans chapter one, for Paul condemns homosexual practices. And, there is nothing wrong with this. However, we tend to ignore the following verses:
28Since these people refused even to think about God, he let their useless minds rule over them. That's why they do all sorts of indecent things. 29They are evil, wicked, and greedy, as well as mean in every possible way. They want what others have, and they murder, argue, cheat, and are hard to get along with. They gossip, 30say cruel things about others, and hate God. They are proud, conceited, and boastful, always thinking up new ways to do evil.(CEV)
I have never been part of a church that has been scandalized by homosexuality. I know those churches are out there, but I have never been part of one. However I have been part of churches scandalized by gossip, mean-spiritedness, poorly chosen words, all rooted in an inability to deal with conflict.
It is interesting; someone asked me a question the other day, I want to ask you. Where, in Scripture, is a person, who is a follower of God, described as one who consistently engages in gossip, slander, complaining…? In essence, where in scripture does a follower of God demonstrate a continued inability to deal with conflict? E-mail me the answer, please. I would like to know.
I can name the persons, who battled with sexual sin. I can share with you those who battled with life as prostitutes and adulterers, whom God loved and who will be with God forever in heaven. I can share with you murderers from Scripture, whom God has accepted.
Some of the greatest things in my life have come through conflict and resolution. Some of the greatest events in Iraq country's history have been born in conflict and resolution. Some of the greatest events in Scripture are brought to us courtesy of conflict and resolution.
Will we, in churches, choose to escape conflict, or see it as an opportunity?
Five Things I Think I Think (with a nod to Peter King for this idea)
1. I notice that with my iPhone, I am depending more and more on my apps for following the news. I sit in my pick up while in line at a McDonalds, stand in line at the bank, or sit at home while watching sports, and check on the news. I like the app NEWS FUSE because it gives me different sources such as BBC, AP, MSNBC, New York Times, and USA Today. I no longer read newspapers and rarely watch television news.
2. Of course, I still try to catch Dale Hansen’s WFAA channel 8 sports report Monday through Friday.
3. The Mavs losing to San Antonio makes it three out of the last four years they have lost in the first round of the playoffs. When they lost to the Heat in 2006, I ached for the lost opportunity. It now appears to have been their only opportunity to win. I’m glad I did not know that then.
4. Thanks Shiloh for being a church where I can preach an entire sermon on homosexuality, be frank and blunt, and not fear for my job.
5. CITY LIGHTS, by Charlie Chaplin, is considered one of the top 100 movies of all time. It is a silent movie. Over the past seven days, I have watched it three times. The first time, I watched it while working out on the treadmill. I thought so much of it; I showed it to my seniors at ETCA. They were so impressed by it; I showed it to my entire family at home. They enjoyed it as well. Is it a comedy, a drama, or a love story? The answer is all three. Watch the entire movie. Laugh and track the plot. The payoff comes in the final scene.
1 comment:
I will be praying for you as you wrestle with this Mavs addiction. I know the terrible heartache that has caused in so many families. We can only hope that this terrible scourge can be eliminated in our lifetime.
Remember Hebrews 10:24 (use your NIV, of course)
Grace and peace,
Tim Archer
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