Last year for Father’s Day, I reprinted, in my weekly blog, a letter my dad wrote to me when I was in college. It was very well received—one of my more well-read posts. Consequently, I thought this year I would do the same.
To provide some context, this letter was written to me on October 27, 1979. It was my first year at Abilene Christian University. I was playing, or maybe I should accurately say trying to play college football at the time.
In early October, my roommate contracted a case of mononucleosis. I became fearful that I would get it as well—convinced that if I did, it would set my chances of playing football back. (From this vantage point over thirty years later, I now realize that, with my talent, BREATHING would have set me chances back.)
With that in mind, daddy started his letter like this:
Dear Mark:
Was good to hear from you last night though I detected some anxiety on your part that I didn’t like. Remember what the Apostle Paul said. “Be anxious in nothing etc”. That is easier said than done however so I want to tell you a few secrets.
He did. He went on to write a three page, single-spaced letter. He admonished me on the importance of self-discipline and the organization of one’s time and life. He also reminded me that adversity was inevitable in life.
With that as context, I want to pass along to you the last page of his letter. The letter was informal, so I have edited the punctuation a little to convey to you what he communicated to me.
Daddy’s long gone; he died in 1983. However, I had him for my first twenty-two years of life, and he was a wonderful father. So if you're sitting there as one who did not have such a father, let me share with you mine.
Mark… [T]his is the fun of the challenge. You can see how hard it is, and, if you do what I tell you or something similar, you will get it down. When you do, it will appear very easy for you and then you start to feeling good about being able to handle so many things well. Next year you will see freshmen going through the same things that you have gone through. Maybe you can then help some of them then because you will be becoming an old pro at time management.
It is said that: Maturity in a leader is the ability to deal with people of widely differing opinion, temperament, and taste without allowing these differences to interfere with the effectiveness of work or the warmth of human acceptance.
I want you to think of Gregg’s feelings also when you are talking in front of him. [Context: In my anxiety about football, I was whining on the phone about possibly getting mono from my roommate—in my roommate’s presence.] Talking about catching mono from him could not make him feel any better. Do your part toward making life easier for him regardless of how you think he treats you. Don’t be selfish toward him—that is don’t try to treat him as he treats you, if that happens to be unlike [the way] you would like for him to treat you. I don’t have any idea what your relationship is like, but I would imagine it gets trying sometimes. Living that close to someone usually does. It is not who is right, but what is right, that is of importance.
Eddie Rickenbacker once said: “To contrive is nothing! To construct is something! To produce is everything!” Charlie Brower said, “Never trust a man who is Dr. Jekyll to those above him and Mr. Hyde to those under him.”
In closing, continue to take care of yourself, but don’t worry too much as that is the worst thing that you could do. And think about the moral to this story:
Ever notice… that when your arms are filled with packages, the sign on the door says, “pull.”
Sigh—relax—enjoy yourself—be kind—
Love, Dad and all
Five Things I Think I Think (with a nod to Peter King for this idea)
1. I got the seven games I was pulling for in the Boston-LA NBA Championship Series. During game 7, I realized I was pulling for Boston to win. Why? I don’t like either Boston or LA. Cmon Mavs!
2. I’m telling you, summer will be over before you know it. I’ll miss it.
3. I have been pleasantly surprised by the play of the U. S. during the World Cup. They might actually advance to the second round.
4. I always love Father’s Day. I like the attention from my family. My gift is getting to watch the U. S. Open—at least until it is time to go preach.
5. Is there any better musical movie theme than that of BATMAN BEGINS? It seethes with drama, and the music subtly makes you aware of the lurking danger of bats.
