During my first two decades, life was relatively easy. The third decade of my life, I discovered that life was hard. This was a good lesson for me, because it prepared me to appreciate what I learned in the fourth decade of my life – God is gracious.
I discovered God’s grace in college. I internalized the biblical message that I was saved by grace. However, I was in my 30s before I truly began to appreciate God's gracious activity in my life and each blessing He gave me.
One place this was exemplified was in my profession. The first five years of the decade, I lived in Argentina doing foreign mission work. I loved those years. Until my children were born, those were the greatest years of my life.
In 1995, I was given the privilege to preach at a church in Brownsville, Texas. Four years later, I was blessed to begin preaching in Winters, Texas, near Abilene and Abilene Christian University.
I thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated both jobs. The two jobs were diverse in some ways. Each offered its own challenges. Moreover, I had many things to learn. Nevertheless, I appreciated getting to participate with God in His mission. Equally important, I appreciated God allowing me to follow the passions of my heart and aligning those passions with my profession.
Having worked in real estate and roofed houses during the decade of my twenties, I was able to fully embrace the chance to do something I truly loved to do. I have not worked since I quit roofing in 1989.
Let me elaborate: I cannot stress what a blessing it was (and is) to feel like I was doing what I was created to do; this sense allowed me to enjoy my work. When a person enjoys his work, it is not a job.
The second major area in which God reinforced His graciousness was in the area of family. Judy’s and my natural-born daughters entered into this world during this decade.
Fatherhood presented ENORMOUS challenges. I learned this immediately after Haleigh’s birth.
Haleigh was born a little prematurely and did not eat enough in the first few months of her life. We had to wake her up literally every two hours—twelve times every 24-hour-period—to feed her.
The physical and emotional strain was enormous. I can remember walking the streets of Argentina searching for something Haleigh’s pediatrician recommended and literally telling God, “I don’t know if I can do this (be a father.)”
We somehow made it through that crisis, as well as the crisis our second daughter, Abby, endured when she ceased breathing immediately after birth and was placed in Neonatal Intensive Care Unit for two weeks.
From a selfish perspective, it seemed hard taking a day off each week with two little girls whose idea of fun was to play dolls, play dress up, and play CANDYLAND. I hate CANDYLAND, but I played it over and over with them.
Personal pleasure for parents, of course, is irrelevant; however, I was later blessed to enjoy the fruit of those relationships, which was formed during those hours on the floor with dolls and CANDYLAND game boards. It wasn’t long before those girls grew out of those life phases and chose interests that corresponded with mine.
Again, not that it is a right, but relatively early in my parenting career, I received the blessing of not only raising my kids but enjoying them as well.
Lastly, I’ll mention that I was thirty when Judy and I entered the second year of our marriage. By then we were able to cultivate some good foundations for a healthy marriage.
I enjoyed being married to Judy-so much so-I did not feel a deep yearning to have children. We were married almost 5 years before we had Haleigh. I wanted to have children because I felt privileged to participate in God’s work and mission in the world, not because I wanted to bring a third party into our household to compensate for something that was missing in our marriage.
It was in that decade, before we had children, that Judy became my best friend. She remains so to this day.
It was during that time that I really enjoyed being in her company. Those days, I would rather be at home with her than anywhere else. Later, I would rather be home with Judy and my kids than anywhere else. This feeling continue to this day.
Looking back, I realize that during my thirties, God cultivated an understanding within me of how blessed I am. I remain blessed.
This is God's gracious activity in my life. I don't know how long it will last. I am not entitled to these blessings, but I have learned to squeeze every bit of enjoyment out of them while I can.
My children are not my toys. They have begun leaving home, one by one. This is as it should be.
I would love to die at exactly the same time Judy does. It probably will not happen that way. Yet I remain forever grateful for whatever time we have left together.
We humans deserve spiritual separation from God. Anything we get above that is a gift.
Salvation comes by God’s grace. Other events that bring joy come by the grace of God as well.
Five Things I Think I Think (with a nod to Peter King for this idea)
1. Last week I finished LOOKING FOR ANNE OF GREEN GABLES THE STORY OF L. M. MONTGOMERY AND HER LITERARY CLASSIC. The author is Irene Gammel, a professor of English at Ryerson University in Toronto.
Drawing extensively from Montgomery’s diaries and journals, Gammel provides a detailed backdrop of Montgomery's inspiration for Anne. While Gammel’s work is not a true biography, she uses her rich resource material to reveal a multi-layered depiction of Montgomery's life.
While her life might be described as a wonderful life, it was a very sad life also. Montgomery's mother died when she was young; raised by her grandmother, their relationship in adulthood was extremely strained. Both experienced an even worse relationship with Montgomery’s uncle, who attempted to remove Montgomery and grandmother from the family homestead—where Maud cared for her grandmother during the matriarch’s final years.
Like most writers, Lucy Maud Montgomery was a complicated human being. Montgomery married a Presbyterian minister, Ewan Macdonald, while in her late thirties. She bore him three sons, one being stillborn.
This I knew.
What I did not know was that Ewan suffered a nervous breakdown, and was continually plagued by deep depression until his death. Moreover, she suffered from depression as well. Instead of each partner being available to pick the other up, Maud and her husband each exasperated the condition of the other.
Most biographies and encyclopedic works note that Montgomery died of heart disease in 1942 at the age of 67. Ewan died one year later.
(Not found in the book, but related information to Montgomery’s depression, is an article written by Montgomery’s granddaughter, Kate Macdonald Butler, published in the Toronto newspaper THE GLOBE AND MAIL, in 2008. She claimed that instead of dying of heart disease, Montgomery took her on life through a drug overdose. Here is a link to that article: http://v1.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20080919.wmhmontgomery0920/BNStory/mentalhealth/
A biographer argues that Montgomery did not kill herself: http://v1.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20080924.wmontgomery24/BNStory/mentalhealth/
Whether or not Montgomery took her own life, the consensus among scholars is that psychologically, she was in a bad way at the time of her death.)
ANNE OF GREEN GABLES did not arrive solely from Montgomery’s inspiration. It was also the product of many years of reading, observing, and writing—the writing being only moderately successful… until Anne.
Ultimately, I believe Gammel’s book is worth reading for anyone who is a fan of that redheaded girl from Prince Edward Island.
2. The more I listen to Washington talk about the debt crisis, the more I think Aristotle was right—virtue lies between two extremes. There are probably exceptions, but I think Aristotle affirmed the rule.
3. Four episodes to go in the first year of “24.” Haleigh has gone to DRY BONES this week in Denver, so I’ve got to wait until she gets back. I’ve got to concede—
Jack Bauer must have experienced the most stressful twenty-four hour period of humankind in a long time. I would not trade places with him.
4. The Texas Rangers beat the trading deadline with some good trades. I like it that they received Koji Uehara and Mike Adams—good pitchers for the seventh and eighth innings. I also like their chances in the playoffs—assuming they get there.
5. Who is going to beat the Eagles in the East? They made great moves last week, especially signing Vince Young to back up Michael Vick (similar qb styles), Nnamdi Asomugha and Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie. Andy Reid is a very good analyst of player personnel.
