Joy in Marriage

My wife, Judy, like all good Shiloh members, always checks out the sermon titles for the upcoming Sunday sermons. A couple of Sundays ago, I was preaching on the subject of “Joy in Marriage.”

The Wednesday before, Judy, our two smaller children, and I were driving to a city, where I was to speak at a church that night. We were going to check into the hotel first, and I had the address and a general idea of where to go, but I wanted to be sure there were no snafus. It was important that we arrive in a timely manner, so as not to be late to my preaching engagement.

I was driving, and I asked Judy to take my iPhone and look for directions. She took the phone and commenced her search.

At first, I encouraged her to use our AT&T Navigator service. She could not find the App. So, I told her to let me use the phone for just a second. With a quick glance and the use of my thumb, I could locate the App and she could type in the directions, but Judy did not want to do that. She did not want to break the law, or even the spirit of the law, and risk us experiencing an accident.

After another wait, I suggested she try searching on Google directions. She agreed, but again had a number of issues to contend with, and she was trapped in a cell phone labyrinth. I renewed my offer to give a quick glance at the phone. Again, she turned down my suggestion.

Confessionally speaking, by now, I was beginning to battle my flesh. This is a character flaw of mine. I’ve got to calm down. I was battling my emotions. I knew deep down I was being hypocritical. After all, how many times have I asked my co-workers for tech support?

I kept reminding myself, if this happened when we were dating, my attitude would be one of tenderness, compassion, and I would even probably find it cute. (Then, of course, I remembered that this could not have occurred when we were dating, unless it was the telegraph Judy was trying to use. I guess I could've said, “You need to press “dot” then “dash”…)

Unfortunately, we were not dating, and my sinful flesh was wanting to scream out, “What is the matter with you, woman! It's an iPhone for crying out loud! This is supposed to be user-friendly! Why can't you get it! And, if you cannot get to it, the least you could do is pass me the phone!”

(Of course, when I am asking for help, my attitude is, “Don’t be condescending to me!” When someone else is asking me for help, my attitude is, “Why can’t you get this?”)

She knew I wanted to scream out, but I was suppressing it. She heard my words, “Honeybunch, sugar-pie”, but she knew I was forcing it. My redeemed mind was trying to encourage my emotional body to pretend that I was dating again. She heard me taking the deep breaths, trying to calm down.

Let me tell you, though, my wife is sharp. Taking everything in, Judy, looked up with a smile on her face, and, with an arched eyebrow of understanding, and she said, “Joy in marriage.”

My wife knows me cold! With one remark, one phrase, three words, she deftly parried my emotional state and, with humor, addressed my sinful, evil nature. I was properly chastened.

This episode reminds me of Prov. 27:17, “Just as iron sharpens iron, friends sharpen the minds of each other.”

I know Judy has got my best interests at heart. She wants to help me put off “evil Mark” and put on Jesus. At times, this process can even be painful, but it is worth it.

Now, to those of you who believe you are stuck with a bad mate, let me say this. I don’t believe there is a spouse, who can prove so challenging that you cannot grow to be like Jesus. As a matter of fact, so often in Scripture, it is the adverse relationships that cultivate the deeper relationship with Jesus.

Allow me to pull a verse out of context—Ecc. 4:9, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work.” I realize that is talking about work; however, if it applies to work, I would certainly expect it to apply to marriage. What a marvelous privilege it is to travel through life with one you love more than anyone else on the planet, and one who loves you above all others.

Joy in marriage, indeed!

Five Things I Think I Think (with a nod to Peter King for this idea)

1. Thank you, Mike Wells, for sharing your story yesterday in our Sunday morning assembly. Before I left the auditorium, I knew your words had impacted people’s lives.

2. I cannot wait until this Sunday morning. We are going to be talking about finding joy in God’s healing. One from our Shiloh family has written, for us, how God has brought her through the most brutal of travails. Understanding the sensitivity of our setting, and the place she is with her family, I will be reading her words to the assembly. Her story of God’s healing will, I believe, give some people hope, who never thought they would experience it.

3. I always wondered what would happen to a civilization that denies the existence of God or of gods. Especially what it would do about death. I may have found an answer. I see yesteryear’s views of South African statesman, Jan Smuts, gaining traction today. Some folks, who are attempting to unify theology and quantum physics, are relegating what was formerly labeled “dead” to what they call the junk heap of failed, mechanical, classical science. Instead of dying, everything recreates itself to become part, yet again, of the greater whole of the universe. Other implications: a stone is not a lifeless object; it is, rather, a compaction of energy. Interesting—those rejecting God could still not escape the spiritual. 

 

4. I got to go with a group from our church, Tuesday night, to see Cliff Lee pitch for the Texas Rangers against the Oakland Athletics. He pitched nine innings, threw 13 strikeouts, and had nary a walk. The only negative was he did not get the win. Ian Kinsler did not cover second on a steal attempt and the catcher’s throw traveled into center field, thus allowing the A’s to score an unearned run. Nelson Cruz won it in the tenth with a walk off home run. These are fun times to be a Ranger fan.

5. Our six-year-old PC has a virus. We have been preparing for this day. Consequently, we have ordered an iMac from the Apple Education Store. (As an educator, Judy receives a discount.)

            I am happy, especially, for our older girls. Too many times, the past couple of years, they had to wait on the computer when doing their homework. It was as if there was a hamster turning a wheel to power our PC’s internet search engine and software—and he was tired! In all fairness, I am sure there were a number of factors involved including how many items we had on the computer. Still, it WAS old.

            One nice byproduct, we get a free iPod touch with this order. This will serve as a nice Christmas gift for our two youngest, Timothy and Annie. Please don’t tell them!